• “Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!”
• “Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins.”
• “Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!”
• An ad for St. Joseph’s Episcopal Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads, “For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets.”
• “Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons – come hear one!”
• “People are like tea bags – you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are.”
• “Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush!”
• “Fight truth decay – study the Bible daily.”
• “How will you spend eternity – Smoking or Non-smoking?”
• “Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives”
• “Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world.”
• “It is unlikely there’ll be a reduction in the wages of sin.”
• “Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church.”
• “If you’re headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns.”
• “This is a ch_ _ch. What is missing?” (U R)
• “In the dark? Follow the Son.”
• “Running low on faith? Stop in for a fill-up.”
• “If you can’t sleep, don’t count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd.”
Anonymous
